November 03, 2003
Ode To Glenn Reynolds
What, you want ME to write a poem, Alliance. Well, okay! (Obnoxiousness and bad poetry warning.)
Ode To Glenn Reynolds
If only I
could summon nimble
words to pluck away thyne pups
before you siphon vitals from their wares.
A listless sigh escapes its
sound. It queries not a dogged
paw - a fading yelp.
Clouded sky erupts!
A lightning bolt askew
might frighten off a gnu
and separate your pup from you
(and leave you shaking sad and blue)
So true. So...true.
Still now. The blender whirs its final sound.
A rapture grasp'd in canine breath.
Escapes his sure intended death.
The blender now holds crystal meth?
Nay, a false alarm most fit to
stop a fiendish scam - exposed
this lawyer as a man whose penguins
were his biggest fan. Who
blends your puppies 'cause he can.
So on this chosen solemn date let
InstaPundit's newest fate be
Something dressed in utter hate (for
Father Time is drawing late). Such wrath'd
befall a solemn state whose blighted
fortress shared its fate and
Richard Simmons watched his weight
(For surely you must not berate the
kindred folks who guard your gate)
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!.
Uh, I think I'm done.
hln hln
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Ode To Glenn Reynolds
If only I
could summon nimble
words to pluck away thyne pups
before you siphon vitals from their wares.
A listless sigh escapes its
sound. It queries not a dogged
paw - a fading yelp.
Clouded sky erupts!
A lightning bolt askew
might frighten off a gnu
and separate your pup from you
(and leave you shaking sad and blue)
So true. So...true.
Still now. The blender whirs its final sound.
A rapture grasp'd in canine breath.
Escapes his sure intended death.
The blender now holds crystal meth?
Nay, a false alarm most fit to
stop a fiendish scam - exposed
this lawyer as a man whose penguins
were his biggest fan. Who
blends your puppies 'cause he can.
So on this chosen solemn date let
InstaPundit's newest fate be
Something dressed in utter hate (for
Father Time is drawing late). Such wrath'd
befall a solemn state whose blighted
fortress shared its fate and
Richard Simmons watched his weight
(For surely you must not berate the
kindred folks who guard your gate)
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!.
Uh, I think I'm done.
hln hln
Posted by: hln at
09:27 PM
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Post contains 216 words, total size 2 kb.
1
I think the best line is "Who Let the Dogs Out Woof Woof". I generally wonder when Glen is going to have to work for a living. Not that I hate him or anything, but I want something fun to be popular. His site puts me sleep. Am I a bad man?
Posted by: Steve (Dork) at November 04, 2003 01:21 AM (I1kvH)
2
That's either terribly brilliant, or brilliantly terrible... I'm still deciding...
Either way, color me terribly amused :-)
Posted by: Harvey at November 04, 2003 01:33 PM (tJfh1)
3
Two words: William McGonagall.
I hope Glenn archives your ode for his grandchildren.
Color me giggling.
Posted by: Jody Tresidder at November 04, 2003 02:29 PM (QOfJp)
4
Hey, now. I wouldn't stoop to end rhyme even in a poem as obnoxiously, intentionally bad as this!
hln
Posted by: hln at November 04, 2003 03:27 PM (g+waq)
5
Awesome or Aweful? I haven't decided yet, but htat was an outstanding effort!
Posted by: The Bartender at November 04, 2003 08:34 PM (1qkjB)
6
I'm in awe. That was pretty funny, and well done.
All yours?
Posted by: TheYeti at November 06, 2003 05:39 PM (ZQQoG)
7
It emerged from the same strange recesses of my mind that brought the world this (though it's only half mine).
hln
Posted by: hln at November 06, 2003 10:19 PM (g+waq)
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