I need to remind myself to read these more often. Trouble is, I tend to do my blog reading at lunch (like now), and Frank's work can lead to food in places it was never intended to go.

Chomps made a hacking sound. Finally, he coughed up a Birkenstock.

"I told you not to murder Democrats!" Laura yelled at Bush.

"I didn't, honey!" Bush protested, "I just stood back and laughed as Chomps did."

Posted by: hln at 12:26 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 89 words, total size 1 kb.

I have nothing to write about that someone else hasn't covered. But Brian warned me that I'd best put SOMETHING up here, so I guess I'll do some linking before I go back to cursing (or trying not to) at Starcraft.

Steve of AdRants reports that Invincible singer Pat Benetar is endorsing Energizer and hearing aids. Maybe it's Pat's fault I have hearing issues.

LeeAnn has a redesign.

Juliette from Baldilocks posts about non-white America and patriotism. As always, her piece is thought provoking and genuine. Oh, and Allah's back.

Matt of Blackfive just celebrated his 7th wedding anniverary. Brian and I were married May 22, 1999 (don't think either of us posted about that) and just celebrated our 5th.

No more posts about cilantro, I promise. Basil, though, yum. I was lazy for Memorial Day - rode across windy Illnois, but that's about it.

God Bless Our Veterans. Humans, send them books.

hln

Posted by: hln at 07:24 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 160 words, total size 2 kb.

Not in much of a writing mood this evening, so linklink.

Baldilocks cracks me up with a one-liner of found poetry.

Go sign Sgt. Hook's birthday card site.

Drinking Rams are bad dogs. You'd think that after a man kills someone while drinking and driving, he would cease to drink and drive. Nope.

I think that'll end it. I have a date with a weight bench and then a bike.

hln

Posted by: hln at 06:29 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 85 words, total size 1 kb.

It's the burning time of the week - the time for the best of the worst of the best to surface amongst some rather stinky flames.

Week 35. (Somebody get me a drumroll?)


First, visit Red Wheelbarrow for some roasted chicken (mmmm) and, wow, some roasted Ann Coulter. Jerry then tells us all about Inane Bill's teeth and threatens to roast Alan Greenspan, who runs away screaming. This is all in a pseudo-Oscar theme.

Quote of the post? "Alan Greenspan, in directing the Fed, wants to go on to direct Social Security, cell phone safety, and proper removal of stuck legos from your face after you fall asleep on them."

Owen of Boots and Sabers has way too much time and bad graphics software on his hands. He's missing a line in Missouri, too; I shouldn't even include his post. Where's the burning and the controversy? Sigh.

Quote of the post? "You are here->" (Left me little choice)

Michael Friedman talks all about hair and the lack thereof. Michael, kind soul that he is, offered the tagline "Michael Friedman explores the ancient Chinese art of comb overs." You know, I can't let him off that easily.

I'm including the picture instead of a quote. Caption contest anyone?



John Moore of Useful Fools enables Johnk to use has favorite f-word in a shadow caption.

But no mention of Treebeard.

Josh Cohen makes me squint with his site design. You should go squint, too. If you stare squintily long enough, you may see Princess Leia, too.

Oh, and then he links to a site for his book. [reading]. Ooh, Josh has four cats! You're right, Josh, this post is burning brightly enough to fuel Wyoming for a week.

Josh also commented on his submission and used the words "fellatio" and "Sean Hannity." (I know, Mom, I can't put THAT on my site, but I did remember to put the period within the quotes).

Alex Dunn tells us that he's a "grown ass man."

Andrew Ian Dodge (who has such a cool name - means he's bad for the Bonfire) talks about Venom. And he doesn't mean Kate, and that's my only point of reference.

"Of course, we all know why Colby likes 'em, because Cronos used to wear a hockey mask."

Harvey proclaims himself an angel. And then he breaks into song. Or something. And he manages to hyphenate innuendo-laden. But he blows it by writing in a circle, a Reynolds-dinner-to-be puppy chasing his tail.

Dave of Blogo Slovo presents us with a slow-loader. Blogspot's such a tease.

His post is about dried venison hide. I think there's a poem in that. Be sure to rhyme in "Bush lied" and end the thing with "people died." Then eat your tofu.

Nathan of The Argus discusses monkeys running wild and Earth's women. Yep.

Well, that's what I get out of it. He describes it as "Two weeks in a row, I let out strange facts about me to the world. Despite being a man, I'm apparently a closet lesbian, and now I let everyone know that monkey riots haunt my dreams." Yes, Nathan, but have you COUNTED the monkeys? That might explain everything.

Kin provides us with the litter's runt (shouldn't runty be a word - I think so). His son wants to be a father at 4.

MuNu's own Susie reviews some movies. I can't read her post because I may want to see these movies. So I'll pick random words and make something up.

"We used to have a chain called Belmont. A Belmont store was great. You could go in and come out with a can opener, 5 yards of flannel, a lamp shade, a dowel rod, Monopoly, shampoo, crayons, half a pound of Brach's candy, a Birthday card, a new bra and one plate to match your Corelle."

You see, this is a post about things you should buy together to make all the men in the store go "hmmmm." My Corelle was always plain white, so everything matched it.

MuNu's Snoozy Jim tells us his wife is getting shots for the puppy. Can she get shots for my cats, too? They hate them. I digress.

He brings Snoozebob to life. Run one, run all. Don't look back.

Bryan McAnally teaches us the proper use of the word "blaccent." Stun your friends!

Kiril Kundurazieff debates with the television while watching the Democratic Debate (did I just capitalize that? I did. I feel dirty).

"You know things aren't gonna be promising from the gitgo when Larry King tells his audience that we will benefit from learning who will lead this country for the next 4 years.

Um, Larry, dude....

Would you like to borrow my glasses, man?"

Sean of The American Mind begs for an Instalanche. Hey, if you have to do something for the Bonfire, begging's good. Even if it's not for _YOUR_ Instalanche. Hi, Glenn, remember me?

Can't leave out the Esteemed Spouse. He thinks that our government should claim it can teleport (or otherwise quickly remove) and thereby depose unpopular leaders or dictators. After all, isn't that what happened in Haiti? **Poof** Perhaps the VRWC can score on this one.

Eric of Classical Values provides this week's novel. It features Howard Stern, Crumb girls (and he's nice enough not to call me one) and many, many updates.

Ady from Ripe Bananas mistakes the Bonfire for the Carnival. Ady, you're a day off; you can retract your post if you like, though. Naaaa.

She titles her post "Nature Magazine Bias Watch - writer in British scientific journal thinks military ordnance is used when people get angry." But I call it "can't find because links are blogsplatted." Ady - meet Pixy Misa. Come on over to the dark side.

I think it's the PETA post, which always gets points with me. Ady, the PETA post can NEVER be your worst of the week. Visit it anyway.

And, rounding out this week's collection, Kevin of Wizbang! discusses Raiders of the Lost Ark but doesn't mention Toht. Doh! He thinks no one cares about his entry; I care.

Next week's Bonfire smolders at Pragmatic Conservatism.

hln

Posted by: hln at 07:31 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 1039 words, total size 9 kb.

Coming soon to an Angelweave near you. Next week, in fact. Yes, I'll be hosting the Bonfire, fitting, as most of my work of late is worthy.

This week, though, lest I get ahead of myself, the Bonfire's at The Argus.

Oh, and I promise not to use the word "crap." And I don't even like fire. So this could be interesting.

hln

Posted by: hln at 06:07 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 71 words, total size 1 kb.

Still not really in a writing mood. That beal infestation - tough to beat. But, it's not gotten everyone yet, so check these posts out.

The Meatriarchy has an excellent post about what he sees as the problem with hockey today, and he proposes some good fixes. Someone get the NHL commissioner on the phone, please. I'd remember his name if my Blues weren't doing so horribly, I'm sure. Bettman or something like that?

Geek love, ah. Kinda like Brian's poem to me in Java a few years ago. Pixy Misa's got HTTPanties for you.

And I thought I had a weird dream last night... Actually, I did. I killed someone accidentally with a knife in my dream, but I turned myself in during the dream. Granted, it was two days later and after putting the body in the attic (and I worry about rotten pork?), but I don't think I was punished too badly by the authorities. I should've written this one down - this doozy of a dream. Anyway, LeeAnn wants to tell you all about the bagels. She's not afraid of carbohydrates.

According to Owen at Boots and Sabers, a group at Beloit college is pushing for gender-neutral bathrooms. Why, praytell, why? I mean, there're causes like save the Garanimals that are more worthy than this. Send these people to a gay bar instead! Problem solved - gender neutral bathrooms. Oh, wait. Time for another of Heather's bad graphics symbols.


And, last but not least, Frank J. warns us about our enemy, JohnK.

I must go burn some carbs now.

hln

Posted by: hln at 08:04 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 272 words, total size 2 kb.

Joe Carter of the evangelical outpost teaches us about semantics and Vietnam.

hln

Posted by: hln at 10:51 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 19 words, total size 1 kb.

Venomous Kate, bless her, broke some toes a few days ago. Poor dear - it HURTS. Especially if you dislocate 'em, too - hope that wasn't the case for her. Aaron of Free Will broke his nose.

Toes. Nose. They Rhyme, and they're... Broken. Yeah, I think that's a theme, boys and girls. Broken.

Broken - an obnoxious poem
--------------------------------------------
This hockey player surely knows,
And traffic stalls, no normal flows
for broken is the way it goes.

A boiler shuts the school to close
and hand displac-ed shattered foes
though broken is the way it goes.

Eh? Scammed tobacco you suppose?
ring broken down by federal pros.
Cause broken is the way it goes.

And straight from Yahoo, marriage woes
to software monopoly action grows?
Remember ladies - broken is as broken goes.

Ask Kate, ask Aaron
Each surely knows
When something been broken
nurse your toes or nose.

(Have I ever mentioned how much I hate end rhyme? I am now). Anybody else broken?

hln

Posted by: hln at 09:26 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 175 words, total size 2 kb.

My votes this week go to American Amnesia for Insurgency in Iraq. and to Ivy for her commentary about a poem about paired things.

ln

Posted by: hln at 06:43 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 31 words, total size 1 kb.

A lot of good writing again this week. Briefly, I vote for What's Grosser than Gross from American Footprint, Howard Dean Says Something, by Flummery, and You're Stupid, by Go Dubya.

Honorable mention (which is still a vote in my rules) is Proust in his first book wrote.... I really like the writer's style, though his blog name definitely goes against him. Metastatsis. Yick. I'd prefer not to.

hln

Posted by: hln at 09:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 75 words, total size 1 kb.

Two votes this week - one for Robert Holcomb's "We're the Best Candidate" and one for The Surly Guy's So Your Heroes Have Always Been Serial Killers.

hln

Posted by: hln at 10:29 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 34 words, total size 1 kb.

I didn't even SUBMIT anything for the Bonfire, and yet Kevin got me. I'm weeks behind on getting my name and writing (good and bad) "out there."

hln

Posted by: hln at 12:13 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 30 words, total size 1 kb.

Wow - this week hasn't flown like some of the others where on Sunday I scratch my head and say, "wow, it's THAT time again."

Still, to get the voting thing done and checked off of my to-do list, my votes are for My Word's post and Front Page News' post on The Point.

hln

Posted by: hln at 08:54 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 61 words, total size 1 kb.

Okay - should be back to normal blogging (more of it) in the coming weeks. I hope to actually have some time off where I'm not doing something Christmas related very soon.

Here's my vote for the New Blog Showcase.

hln

Posted by: hln at 09:23 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 51 words, total size 1 kb.

And...500th post. Does that legitimatize me or something? Likely no. 500 more.

I especially liked anti-antiwar's hope for success. Equally impressive was the post on Locke, or Demosthenes about economics and reconstruction contracts.

hln

Posted by: hln at 08:05 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 40 words, total size 1 kb.

I would like to kindly remind you that there is plenty of solid, well-written Noggle posting conducted by the greater Noggle.

Brian invents a new curse word at the expense of one of the Democratic "finest."

And then he reminds you about your paltry salary.

Good night. I'll tell you all about bon-bons sometime tomorrow.

hln

Posted by: hln at 10:20 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 66 words, total size 1 kb.

This week brought some fine writing.

I enjoyed reading Rose Buroway, Political Scientist from Discourse.net. Although the author and I probably don't share too many common political views, the writing was sound, the language luscious, and I'll return to the blog. I also want to learn more about Guantanamo after reading that.

On the non-political end of the spectrum, "When John Denver Died" gets my vote.

hln

Posted by: hln at 09:23 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 73 words, total size 1 kb.

Let's talk a bit about communication, readers. I have a degree in it, so that ought to count for something.

With any message, there's, at the simplest, a sender and a receiver. Now, I as a sender may have one intent when he or she releases the message, and the receiver may twist it in a way to suit his or her needs/desires (I shouldn't talk about needs or desires in this post). I believe that's what happened here. I mean, I do it myself - like take Frank J. literally and laugh at him when he calls his brother a bastard.

I digress.

You see, I mentioned this to Mr. Green, in response to a quite funny post (most of them are lately - he's doing well on that funny pill regimen). I shall quote myself.

First, you are quickly becoming one of the blogosphere's funniest bloggers.

Second, you forgot to mention Gainpro penis enlargement. When I first began blogging, this is where ALL my hits came from (I went through the spam in my hotmail inbox one day, and 25% of the mail was from Gainpro).

Gainpro! Put it in your main post.

hln

Posted by: hln at 07:33 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 232 words, total size 2 kb.

Mike the Marine has made the transition from reader to writer/reader. And it's a good thing.

He fisks an automobile?

He offers a disclaimer!

He's also getting blogrolled as soon as I find the time to update. Breathe, Heather, breathe. Probably this weekend, Mike. "Blogroll changes" is on the whiteboard.

Oh, and he reads me daily? I never would've known. He only comments like y'know, once every month maybe. Am I that uncommentable people, I mean, come on! If you'd have signed up for a Christmas card, you would've had the bonus of a PETA address label (which I just think is hilarious), but noooooo, you people who have the audacity to visit me and NOT COMMENT and NOT E-MAIL and NOT LINK to some of my brilliant artistry...okay, I'd best chill.

This post was about Mike the Marine, right? I think I need to get to the gym. Focus, Heather. A manic blogger does no one any good.

hln

Posted by: hln at 07:01 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 170 words, total size 1 kb.

No, really - it's like one a month, but I do enjoy reading it. It's entitled "Why I hate being a republican, or my secret life as a democratic stooge." Interestingl...a sample:

I love the language of this article. It is an amazing tribute to how "the right wing media machine" loves to slant everything wildly. Demon-crats and Communists hold hands and dance on the graves of hardworking American families. Yeah, ok... Just like I'm a uncaring facist who slays children in their sleep to ensure the racial purity of our nation.

Posted by: hln at 09:08 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 99 words, total size 1 kb.