I snarked on some Botox ads in Fitness magazines a few months back, but Big Arm Woman one-up's me with her witty and wry Botox commentary. Visit.

(Update...oops - I saw the TV ad and snarked on it, and then the Botox print ads were everywhere).

"This season, give yourself the gift of Botox cosmetic. Before all the holiday get-togethers and parties. Botoxilin blah-blah-blah...Give yourself the gift of Botox cosmetic."

I almost missed my light. Yes folks, injectable paralytic bacteria is now being hyped as the perfect little accessory to go with your new strappy heels and party dress. You too can look like an escapee from Madame Tussaud's in all of your holiday photos! And you can spend all day on Christmas assuring your family and friends that yes, you do really like the gift, it's just that the facial muscles responsible for smiling have all been temporarily rendered immobile!

Posted by: hln at 09:31 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 156 words, total size 1 kb.

Found a quiz via Brian.


Your soul is bound to the Fourth Totem, Solomon:
The Owl. Solomon appears as an azure feathered owl. He
embodies wisdom, judgement, reason, and
stability. He is associated with the color
azure, the season of autumn, and the element of
water. His downfall is farsightedness. You are most compatible with Ravens and Monkeys.

Which Animal Spirit Totem Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

He's a monkey. We're compatible.

hln

Posted by: hln at 09:16 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 77 words, total size 1 kb.

Steve Hall of Ad Rants points us to What Brand Are You, which was SUPPPOSED to be a joke. Well, y'know...

Here's what he has to say about it, and check out the site.

In a telling tribute to the vapid mentality of the advertising industry, marketers registered over 20 of 150 fake brand names from a web site poking fun at the ridiculousness of corporate re-branding. Created as a spoof by U.K. ad agency Design Conspiracy, the site, What Brand Are You, asked marketers to enter a set of brand attributes and then click a button to get an auto-generate a brand name. Rather than get the joke, over 20 marketers used the site to generate a brand name and then registered it as a real brand. Some of the spoof brand names that are now "real" are Amplifico, Integriti, Thinc and Winwin.

Posted by: hln at 07:20 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 163 words, total size 1 kb.

Bonfire raging.

hln

Posted by: hln at 07:09 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 13 words, total size 1 kb.

Patriot Paradox is hosting a Blog Tournament. See this post for details. I'm judging for this one instead of writing.

hln

Posted by: hln at 07:04 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 25 words, total size 1 kb.

I finished reading Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser about two weeks ago. It's a quick read, but I wanted to think on it a while before writing.

I picked the book up at the San Francisco airport thinking it would rail on obesity and American eating habits. That's not exactly what I got, and for that I am pleased. Schlosser discusses a lot of things - from the early days of fast food (owning a restaurant...living the American dream) to shifting practices of mass producing french fries and cattle to an ugly portrait of the meatpacking industry and a foray into food-borne illness.

As I got past the first three chapters of the book, I was well aware that I was going to disagree with some to possibly many of Schlosser's premises and assertions - his choice of facts to present. He irritated me constantly by ascribing "liberal Democrat" to all things good and "conservative Republican" to all things bad.

But that's about ALL he did wrong from a sense of style. He saves his judgment until the final chapters (two...there's an additional chapter in the paperback, an afterword called the meaning of Mad Cow...wherein he actually calls himself on his behavior of stratifying things on a partisan level. I actually laughed).

My favorite part of the book had to do with Schlosser's visit to a flavoring lab. This snippet alone is worth reading the whole book, which you'll want to do anyway. One, it's cheap (note the Half.com link). Two, it's a good read by a good writer, regardless of your viewpoints. The things I gig Barbara Ehrenreich for are not present in this book. You can tell the way Schlosser leans because of his tone, but you're not slapped in the face - you're spared the preaching until the end - where it belongs.

I don't want to get too deeply into the guts of this book because I want you to read it. The things it's brought to the forefront in my mind are: "What should OSHA's role be in the workplace?" The importance of balance of power in dangerous industries - such as meatpacking. Schlosser asserts that the line speeds in slaughterhouses are such that danger of injury - often serious and possibly including death - are driven by demand for cheap burgers. I had an eye scrunched while I read this section, preferring to chew on the thought for a while...two weeks. I won't spoil this for you, but Schlosser's conclusion - his particular call to action - pleased me.

The other troubling thing is the author's stress of the importance of unions and the pressure (he paints) from corporations to keep the unions out. If there are industries where unions are highly important, I would have to say it would be those that offer the most dangerous jobs. While I'm not a union fan (look up my grocery store strike post), I remember having read Power and Powerlessness in grad school, and, when the unions were not corrupt, they were a force for good for a group of people who desperately needed such a force (highly uneducated, highly exploited). Problem is, as will surface with any group of people in which there is any sort of ill intent or greed: corruption.

That's another theme of Schlosser's book. He doesn't often mention union corruption (which, of course, is documented to be rampant), but he splatters the pages full of corporate misdeeds - often cited as legally punished. That certainly gets my eye - hard facts, poor immoral decisions, and punishment.

One last thing before I leave this - the NRO reviewed the book, and I, being me, was interested in what the reviewer had to say. I read the review twice and was actually offended. Did we read the same book, Mr. Kern? I found quite a bit of it, with my five years of fast food restaurant experience, to be fairly accurate. You call it McGarbage. While I agree that arguing by authority shouldn't really buy me any credibility in your eyes, it certainly validates my own opinion. I also didn't get the same tone from the book that Kern did - the "shock," but then again this book is on the heels of Barbara's, and so perhaps it's there but muted in my point of reference. Part of the Kern's review worth quoting, though, as I tend to agree:

Schlosser as Upton Sinclair: Fast Food Nation describes the meat industry in terms that make The Jungle read like a puff piece from the National Beef Council. He's probably right. Schlosser depicts a powerful industry benefiting from unfair laws and the shocking exploitation of desperate illegal immigrants. My solution: End corporate welfare and crack down on illegal immigrants. Schlossel's solution: Throw money at OSHA. It makes sense that OSHA should heal the beef industry, given its demonstrated skill at comforting cows.

Posted by: hln at 10:03 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 873 words, total size 5 kb.

Matt O' Blackfive quotes a bit of a Chicago Tribune article about the deportation of illegal immigrants. It reads, however, more like a story of desperation and loss intended to make you decry "the system."

Go read.

hln

Posted by: hln at 07:53 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 48 words, total size 1 kb.

Twenty-six chosen, lucky, priveleged individuals are featured in Kelley's Cul-de-sac this week. I'm one of 'em. With luck and skill, I'll read all of these others this week!

hln

Posted by: hln at 07:25 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 31 words, total size 1 kb.

Ah, so appropriate for Bonfire day. I am the _only_ hit on Yahoo for "naked women on mitsubishi eclipse."

Poor guy was sorely disappointed that the pic just turned out to be the "individualists" posing for the sake of art.

Still clothed after all these years,

hln

Posted by: hln at 07:12 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 55 words, total size 1 kb.

Aurora called me at work from home. She's displeased that no one has commented about her pictures. Come on, people. Tell Aurora what a cute cat she is, or I'll hear ALL about it when I get home. And she probably won't allow me to post any more cute cate pictures, either. And that'll anger Dominique.

hln

Posted by: hln at 01:26 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 61 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Tell the babies I'm very sorry. I don't always comment when I should. They're all beautiful. You can tell Aurora she's the most beautiful if you think she'll feel better.

Posted by: Jennifer at November 17, 2003 02:09 PM (kjOoJ)

2 It's a start. She's quite a prima donna, you know. Just like her mother. hln

Posted by: hln at November 17, 2003 02:43 PM (CWwGn)

3 That top picture keeps messing with my head, because it sort of looks like she's standing in front of a wall. Then I realize she's laying down & I get this sense of vertigo... Cute kitty, though :-)

Posted by: Harvey at November 18, 2003 12:41 PM (tJfh1)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Scrappleface touches on the Chewable Contraceptive idea.

(2003-11-17) -- The new chewable birth control pill approved by the FDA today will soon be marketed in the caricatured shapes of famous women like Kate Michelman, Senator Barbara Boxer and Hillary Clinton.

"We got the idea from the Flintstones vitamins," said an unnamed spokesman for Warner Chilcott, Inc., of Rockaway, N.J., the company that will market the pills for manufacturer Bristol Myers Squibb.

Posted by: hln at 11:42 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 90 words, total size 1 kb.

I'm preparing my entry here for this week's upcoming Kissing Booth.

I used to know a thing or two about the messes and pain in relationships. This poem is about opposites and the usual lack of understanding between the pair that may lead to a lot of miscomprehension and injured feelings. And then it fades, the relationship - neither party wanting to hurt the other, both knowing it can't last, still making gentle concessions until the final common thread snaps.

patchwork
------------------------------------------------------------

he's probably going to walk the dog
today. gonna gather selfhood in the woods.
i think the rain reddens his face
and hair. i'm sewing a quilt out of
pieced what and evers -- rusted change
i've stolen from his pockets. i put
lace on the edges and call him mine.

we talk occasionally maybe. leaves
turn and i'm left bare. please --
will he brush my hair after the rain
and call it his? give me the dog and
his leash. i step over dead trees.
once i liked the woods.

once he liked my hair. i washed his
until he smelled like me. he ran with
dogs -- with face to the rain. i held
too much trust in needles and thread --
slowly gave him back his change in pieces.
sticks. remnant stumps and floating logs.
i am brushfires seething red. i'd
burn somewhere besides my heart -- but
he'd rather trample on bedraggled. he's
part cold part wet and out of change.

today the dog ran home to me. stick
bedecked with tattered lace. we
played fetch and remembered rust.

hli
(10/06/94)

hln

Posted by: hln at 05:11 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 275 words, total size 2 kb.

These week's vote is Collected Miscellany's An Interview with John Derbyshire.

hln

Posted by: hln at 04:52 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 18 words, total size 1 kb.

Is this supposed to be a Friday thing? In the spirit of Pixy Misa, James Joyner, and Kevin Drum, here are some pictures of my cats. Not all of 'em, mind you, because I have five. But I'll get there eventually. (That cat in the left picture on Kevin's site is on my desktop at work, but a different picture).

Today is Aurora day. I have pictures of Galt and Ajax already on the blog.





hln

Posted by: hln at 08:52 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 82 words, total size 1 kb.

You are mRNA. You're brilliant, full of important,
interesting information and you're a great
friend to the people you care about. You may
have sides to you that no one understands. But
while you understand more than most people,
you're only half-there most of the time.

Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Okay...that's accurate? Half where?

Found at One Little Victory

hln

Posted by: hln at 07:18 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 70 words, total size 1 kb.

I visit stlbloggers, the collection of St. Louis area bloggers, a few times a day. This morning, I found that Arch Pundit's been attacked by an unsavory, and I thought I'd share part of the letter he received.

My skeptical mind, upon first reading, thought there was no way on EARTH that an intelligent person would craft and then send this letter. But, there's a post confirming authenticity a few posts above this. Make of it what you will.

Hey Commie:

Imagine my chagrin when I used a search engine to find commentary about myself, and there was your shallow, dilettante, asshole self, labeling me a "white supremacist."

Being the shallow, nigger-loving dilettante that you are, you probably DO consider niggers to be your equal (who am I to question this?): Yet, unlike you and your allies, I have an I.Q. in excess of 130, which grants me the ability to objectively evaluate the Great American Nigro (Africanus Criminalis.)

The nigro is 11.5 % of the U.S. population, yet he commits in excess of 55% of all felonies (although felonies are UNDER-represented in the nigro community, where observing the law is considered "acting White!") Moreover, he (or should I say she?)accounts for 48% of all ADC recipients in the U.S. We have spent over $7 TRILLION on "Urban Welfare Spending" since the mid-1960s, (black economists Thomas Sowell & Walter Williams) and the nigro is still as criminal, surly, lazy , violent and stupid as he/she ever was, while his illegitimacy rate is 80% nationwide, and over 90% in the "large urban areas."

Posted by: hln at 07:51 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 270 words, total size 2 kb.

Bristol-Myers will be marketing its chewable contraceptive!

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. regulators said on Friday they approved the first chewable oral contraceptive for women, a spearmint-flavored tablet called Ovcon 35.

New York-based Bristol-Myers will manufacture the product, and Warner Chilcott, a division of Northern Irish drug maker Galen Holdings Plc , will market it, the Food and Drug Administration said.

Ovcon 35 contains progestin and estrogen, the hormones used in standard birth control pills to prevent pregnancy, the FDA said.

The new pill may be swallowed whole or chewed and swallowed, the FDA said. Women who decide to chew the tablet should drink an 8-ounce glass of liquid immediately afterward so the full dose reaches the stomach, the FDA said.

Ovcon 35 is available in a 28-day regimen in which women take 21 active tablets followed by seven placebo tablets.

The drug's possible side effects are similar to those of other birth control pills, the FDA said. They include an increased risk of blood clots, heart attacks and strokes, particularly for smokers.

Posted by: hln at 07:32 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 214 words, total size 1 kb.

I read this thing four times and then had to glance at the first paragraph to figure out WHAT THE HELL IT MEANT!

Chocolate Firm Eyes Diet Tips Amid Obesity Debate

Chocolate - mmmm.
Firm Eyes? Oh, like, you mean get rid of crow's feet?
Diet Tips? I give those.
Amid Obesity Debate? Yeah...

A leading British chocolate manufacturer said on Friday it may include diet tips on its product labels as sports stars and celebrities were criticized for promoting unhealthy food blamed for a sharp rise in child obesity.

Cadbury Schweppes, one of the world's biggest international beverage and confectionery companies, said it had not decided what wording would be used on the labels, aimed at its British market, but added it would not be a warning.

"It is true we are looking at a number of options to provide better labeling for the consumer in terms of understanding what a balanced diet is," a spokeswoman for the company told Reuters.

Cadbury announced the move as The Lancet medical journal called for a stop to stars endorsing unhealthy food and amid warnings from health experts that obesity among children is a time bomb waiting to explode.

"Celebrity endorsement of junk food has to be banned," The Lancet said in an editorial, adding to a growing chorus of criticism in Europe and North America that foods and sweets with high fat or sugar content are causing a huge increase in obesity among children.

Posted by: hln at 12:56 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 275 words, total size 2 kb.

I've finally done it - broken up the Health/Fitness/Nutrition category.

In today's news, the FTC says "uh, no" to Bodyflex, according to this snippet from About.com.

Think you can lose weight by simply breathing? Neither does the Federal Trade Commission. The FTC has charged the marketers of BodyFlex with false advertising whose website and infomercials claim their 18-minute "workout" of deep breathing and stretching is more effective than a treadmill session and will melt 4-41 inches off in one week. The BodyFlex website has already been taken down, but you can see a cached version here.

The power of BodyFlex lies in how oxygen helps burn fat. With BodyFlex breathing you will supercharge your blood with fat-burning oxygen and you'll lose inches fast. So fast that BodyFlex guarantees you'll lose 4 to 14 inches across your six target areas in the first 7 days. That's the upper arms, upper abs, lower abs, waist, hips and thighs. Once you've learned the secret of BodyFlex breathing, the exercises are easy to follow and there are no complicated machines to put together. You can even do it all while sitting on your couch.

Posted by: hln at 12:46 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 226 words, total size 2 kb.

1 There's an exercise machine on TV that's basically a bow, like from a bow and arrow. You put one end on your foot or a doorhanger or something, and pull with the limb you want to exercise, or hook it to your waist or whatever. They show groups of people in gyms, on Asian-style hillsides, etc, they look hysterical. I'm just waiting for one of those machines to have a 'tension band' snap and the bow fly back "with 200 pounds of resistance!" (as the ad proudly proclaims) and kill them.

Posted by: Aaron at November 14, 2003 10:25 PM (QqY+N)

2 Bands have their place, but I'd posit NOT as a primary form of exercise (nice and easy to pack in the luggage, though, if one travels a lot). I think my image of the day is going to be exercisers on the Asian hillside with pink bands. Gee, thanks, Aaron hln

Posted by: hln at November 15, 2003 07:24 AM (EfQ16)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

I'm hopefully a master of my namesake; I'd bet Brian is, too.

"A lot like like Boggle, but with numbers instead. Use your number sense and math skill to get high scores. Challenge yourself."

I'll report back when I know for sure. Those number things are sure harder than letters/words.

hln

Posted by: hln at 08:09 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 57 words, total size 1 kb.