October 22, 2003

Look out Copland - You're Next

Okay, so Aaron Copland's dead. But he wrote this lovely little catching piece called Rodeo. PETA would have us change its name. For, you see, it's asking exactly that of the town of Rodeo in Contra Costa County.

    PETA has sought politically correct titles before. The group recently asked officials in Hamburg, Germany, to consider the name "Veggieburg," Franzetta said. And, to no avail, they suggested Fishkill, N.Y. try on "Fishsave" for size.

    As for challenging more cattle-inspired locations, Rodeo Drive in Southern California could be next.

    "That would be a great candidate down the road," Franzetta said. "It's definitely a possibility."
I'll save you further details; they're in the article. Rather, let us all HELP PETA in designating all of things the nation should change to become more "animal friendly" in PC terms. Like...

Someone call Crayola; salmon's no color.

What else would you rename?

hln

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October 21, 2003

Milk and Jail

Helllllllo PETA. What now, you ask?

Vegan means NO milk, no? And since when has PETA carried about your waistline. Tsk tsk.

    The lobbying group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals filed an official complaint with the Florida Department of Education (news - web sites) on Monday demanding that it stop the sale of "unhealthy" chocolate, strawberry and other flavored milks in high school vending machines.

    "Flavored milk drinks contain more fat, sugar, cholesterol, and calories than even soft drinks do," the complaint says. "Dairy representatives should be in jail for foisting this high-fat, high-sugar toilet water on the nation's children," said Bruce Friedrich, director of vegan outreach for Washington, D.C.-based PETA.
Bruce wears it as cologne, all while yapping about "the children."

Yahoo's snippet extends into the full story, where the Herald milks it for all it's got.

    In Miami-Dade, the complaint got instant action. Penny Parham, in charge of school lunches, drove to a high school, checked a milk vending machine and discovered it was selling the exact, 460-calorie Nesquick chocolate milk product referred to in the PETA complaint. ''It's coming out immediately,'' she said. ``This isn't the right way to fight obesity.''
Okay, 460 calories is a bit much. What's that equivalent to, you ask? Oh, about a 32 oz soda, weighing in at about 416 calories. What's the soda give you? Nada. The milk? A bunch of calcium and Vitamin D. Not exactly a wash.

But that nasty word, OBESITY. There it is. Everyone cringe.

Here's what it's really about. Remember that other word: vegan.

    PETA attorney Matthew Penzer said Monday's Florida complaint is the opening salvo in efforts to counter dairy industry vending machine programs in several states.
This isn't about weight. Who believes that it is? Who gives PETA credibility in this regard. It's shameful.

    PETA's complaint also says serving milk violates Florida laws that require schools to ``efficiently and faithfully teach kindness to animals.''
Look out, Pizza Hut. You serve pizza. With cheese. Vegans unite, for there is no food chain, and I didn't just watch my cats yesterday attempt to eviscerate a moth for their own amusement before devouring said insect. No. Food chain? Doesn't exist.

hln

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October 19, 2003

Buck buck buck BWACK!

We've all read the news. Pamela Anderson...KFC. Yawn.

But Hans sent me this, so let's all go stare at Pamela's fake boobage for a bit and discuss amongst ourselves.

    Pamela Anderson has joined the ranks of celebrities who are urging the public to boycott KFC because of the supposedly uncivilized manner in which the handle breasts...um...chicken. Anderson says, "If people knew how KFC treats chickens, they'd never eat another drumstick." Maybe she meant breasts but that's besides the point because this article is supposed to be about breasts...I mean chicken, not breasts. Hard to concentrate here.
Funny, and a good take on the issue. I should've guessed that the material for fake boobs came from the same body's grey matter. All I can think is, wow, how can she run? But she has "friends." Friends at PETA. And when the time is right, they'll send a pulse to Agent Anderson that all is again right in the world and she can go back to studying drumsticks and keeping her mouth shut.

Soon, please. (I notice PETA didn't dispatch her to David Novak's neighbors and church. Yet.)

hln

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October 02, 2003

Quickly Found PETA Post

So, I hit the Center for Consumer Freedom, as I often do, and, there it was, gleaming, screaming, teeming with shouts for my attention:

PETA's Latest Excuse For Funding Terrorists

Ooh, promising.

    In 2002 the Center for Consumer Freedom first revealed that PETA had donated $1,500 of tax-exempt funds to the FBI-labeled terrorist Earth Liberation Front (ELF). Now, in a story about recent ELF arsons, the Associated Press has published the eighth in a series of different explanations PETA has offered for this misguided (and possibly illegal) cash grant.

    Yesterday's AP story notes: "PETA said the money was used to send two people to Washington to testify at a congressional hearing on behalf of an ELF spokesman." Funny -- PETA officials never mentioned this in 2002, when they offered the following explanations:
The post goes on to list prior excuses.

For some reason, I'm thinking of Masterpiece Theatre, complete with Pachelbel's Canon - too slowly done to promote some director's idea of dramatic emphasis. "And tonight, on PETA Theatre, we present the EIGHTH and final excuse..." You can hear it, can't you?

Oh, the drama. Tune in next week for the encore, where we hear our beloved Bruce Friedrich crying amidst young chickens slated for YOUR dinner plates. "Oh, chickens, whatever will we do? Our non-profit status is sure to vanish!"

Cut, and that's a wrap.

Chicken. No mayo.

hln

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